Reality Television – The Relationship Killer

What do Russell Simmons, Danny Bonaduce, Bobby Brown, Nick Lachey and Dave Navarro of Jane’s Addiction all have in common? Well, they are all rich, but that’s not it. Is it that they are all rich and were married to hot women? Well, that’s true too, but that’s not what I was looking for. If we answer in the form of a question the answer would be; who are men whose marriages ended after appearing in reality television shows with their families? Now, you can add to that list, the incredible, immortal, 14-time former World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion Terry Bollea, known affectionately by his legions of fans as Hulk Hogan. Hulk’s wife Linda has recently filed for divorce after 24 years of marriage and two children, so now, Hulk is just another victim of the reality show relationship jinx.

By now, everyone knows the circumstances between Terry and Linda. Everyone knows that their son Nick was arrested for drag racing and it has driven a wedge between the Hogans, but there is more to their divorce than Nick’s legal troubles or his irresponsibility. Anyone who watched the show Hogan Knows Best for any amount of time knew that Terry and Linda spent more time disagreeing than they did being romantic with one another. Many of the episodes were about the two of them trying to settle a disagreement about something relating to their children or trying to spice up their relationship and add a little romance to their lives.

Reality television is basically designed to be an inside look into the lives of people as they go about their regular routines. However, the question has always existed; if you are wearing a microphone and you know that the cameras are there, how can it really be reality television? Just because the show is “unscripted”, there is probably as much performance on reality television as there is on any other show. Most of the time, the featured players are told what to do and then they do it with the results being whatever they are. Kind of like a professional wrestling match. The beginning and the ending is scripted and the wrestlers perform the middle. The Hogans spent a lot of time disagreeing and the situations that they were placed in didn’t help matters much, but after all, controversy creates ratings, right?

All of the reports are focusing on Linda and her pursuit of Hulk’s money, but after all, unfortunately, she is entitled to it. Prenuptial agreements expire after ten years and most states are community property states, which mean that she is entitled to half of the marital assets, even if she never wrestled a match in her life. After all, Johnny Carson’s wife walked away with over $150 million after their divorce. The fight might be about his money and her desire to possess it, but the war started long before this and it was made public on their show. They could not conceal their problems, which is why the most recent season focused on their marital problems and their seeking counseling to rectify their problems. Once the relationship goes there and it is also no longer private, there is usually no turning back, and in this case, there wasn’t.

It was believed that the men that I mentioned had relationships that were solid. Gretchen was standing behind Danny despite his demons. Whitney believed in Bobby when no one else did. Nick and Jessica were America’s new hot couple so much so that their wedding was held on television. It is hard to believe that Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne are the most stable couple from the pile of reality television families. I guess when you try not to be yourself, it backfires. Ozzy was on television what he really is and his family had accepted it long ago so accepting it on television was no stretch.

The Bollea/Hogan marriage appears to over with no turning back. Terry will go on being Hulk Hogan and is slated to be the host of the new version of American Gladiators when it debuts in 2008. Linda will become…well, another celebrity’s wife who went from anonymous to famous and must now try to find ways to extend her celebrity. Do not be surprised if Linda loses a bunch of weight and we find out that she will be appearing in Playboy soon. Also, look for the Linda Hogan clothing line coming to stores near you very soon. I am kidding of course, but we have seen it all before from women who were their husband’s wives and suddenly became celebrities. After all, even Michelle Triola moved in with Dick Van Dyke and tried to become an actress.

Now, all we can do is sit back and see who the next victim (or victims) of the reality show relationship jinx will be. If you are fans of these people, then say a little prayer for Eddie George (I Married a Baller on TV One) or Joseph “Run” Simmons (Run’s House on MTV). These men could be next.